Enneagram Type 4: Stress And Growth
Causes of Stress
Individualistic and unique attitudes, behaviors, and feelings being superficially criticized, feelings being criticized with logical justifications, especially not being understood or valued by their partners can be stress factors for Fours. Not being able to allocate as much time as they want for themselves, not being able to experience emotional depth as much as they desire, and feeling emotional weaknesses in their relationships can cause stress. As individuals who value sincerity highly, hypocrisy and insincerity can create stress for them.
During stressful times, Fours primarily withdraw into their inner worlds, and if this period of stress persists, they transition to the negative characteristics of the Two temperament type.
At Stress Points Fours
During prolonged periods of stress, Fours deviate from their usual adaptability, calmness, and understanding and exhibit more irritable and angry behaviors. When angered, they may behave harshly with sudden outbursts. They feel emotional emptiness and turmoil within them and may engage in superficial relationships to prevent this or to fill the void.
They may react sharply and suddenly to criticisms from their partners. Sometimes they may exhibit aggressive or angry behaviors, and at other times they may appear sensitive or indifferent.
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The depth in their emotions and thoughts diminishes, giving way to shallow feelings and thoughts. They may not express their inner emotional turmoil externally and may appear very cheerful and fine on the outside. They may feel worthless. They may not feel the need to be alone to understand their feelings and may even fear being alone.
They may think that nothing or no one is important to them. Instead of expressing their feelings and thoughts in a unique artistic way, they may show petulance. While being liked or attracting attention is not important to them normally, they may not care about it during these times.
Factors Facilitating Growth
Achieving the richness and depth they desire in their emotions and thoughts, feeling understood and valued, and being able to experience the dreamed relationship facilitate their relaxation.
Being able to be alone when necessary and express their feelings in the way they want artistically are reasons for relaxation. In relaxed situations, Fours exhibit the positive characteristics of the One temperament type.
At Growth Points Fours
Fours whose emotional fluctuations and turmoil decrease become more stable in their emotions and thoughts during this period. The extremity and idealism in their emotions give way to a more objective, realistic perception. They approach systems and rules, which they normally think restrict them and harm their individuality, more objectively by accepting their necessity.
They begin to organize their lives within the framework of ideals and goals. They replace subjective thoughts with more objective, realistic thoughts, enabling them to think more clearly and make correct decisions. Instead of succumbing to hopelessness in the face of adversity, they become solution-oriented, outcome-focused individuals. They start evaluating events in terms of cause and effect.
